An Inveterate Spammer of my acquaintance sent me this earlier today:
Dear Constituents:I have enjoyed working here these past several years.
You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief.
I have 3-4 months off per year and a that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about.
Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position. During this time, I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition, I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associate with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for this new job proves fruitless,
I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this.
Every Senator or Congressman Running for President.
I’m always amused at how the people who come up with these sorts of rants never suggest how the problem that has so incensed them can be rectified or give any indication of how whatever it is that they are arguing for, even implicitly, might be worse that the existing situation.
For example, should only people who are not currently in any national elective office be allowed to run for President? Are there other jobs they can hold or must they all be really wealthy? Can a candidate have once held national elective office or must he or she be simon pure? If the former, can they be in office right up until they start to run and then resign? Can lower level elected officials such as governors, mayors et al run for President? Cank they do so while holding their offices? Or must each presidential candidate be a complete neophyte? Would that be better?
The resignation scenario raises some issues (not even including the whole issue of campaigning before announcing). Would there be a special election when he or she did quit or could the current governor appoint a successor to fill out the term? Either way, the result would be less experienced and informed people in the Congress, potential deadlock situations while everybody waits for a new person to be appointed or elected and the whole question of seniority and congressional control if the division between the parties is minimal and a governor of the minority party gets to replace the senator of the majority party from his state. The government would be–wait for it now–even less efficient and certainly more expensive in instances where new elections had to be held.
It is also likely that whichever candidate loses the presidential primaries or the ultimate election would then be of public office even though he or she might be one of the nation’s best informed and capable political leaders. That would mean, in this era of incompetence, that our leadership would be–wait for it now–even less competent than before.
IMPORTANT: this last argument, of course, excludes the current administration, since the concept of even less competence is pretty much off the table so long as it reigns.
I am sure that the originator of this cleverness has some agenda or other that he or she believes is being fostered, but I remain unclear as to what it might be. Are we supposed to feel better reading this? Think about it in some constructive way? Be moved to some political action? Chuckle mordantly and throw up our arms? Have even less respect for the process and pay even less attention?
Anyway, if you also routinely get silly spam from friends or relatives, here’s a site that might help you bring it to a halt. See, this whole post has been a Public Service Announcement.
As for me, I’ll continue to treat my spam buddy as my crazy uncle Richard in the attic and hold the delete key at the ready whenever his name appears in the “From” box. He’s been known to buy me a beer or two and that excuses a lot sins. I’m not proud that that’s the case, but there it is.
My favorite beer? A free one (just beating out the next one).